Mothers are . . .

Hi Singapore parents, this weekend, would like to share something light-hearted with you.

Below are answers given by primary 2 school children when asked the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Hope you have enjoyed reading and have a good laugh. For parents with children around this age, do ask them the same questions and see what response you get.

Emotional Organs

Parents, do you know that how you feel can affect your organs and your well-being? Well, Traditional Chinese Medicine studies have shown that:

Joy is related to the HEART (circulatory disorders, palpitations, insomnia, poor memory, tongue ulcers)

Anger is related to the LIVER and GALL BLADDER (headaches, muscle tension and spasms, dizziness, high blood pressure)

Grief is related to the LUNGS (respiratory discorders, asthma, bronchitis, constipation, sinus, skin rashes)

Contemplation is related to the SPLEEN (disgestive disorders, nausea, belching, vomiting, knotted feeling in stamach, ulcers, diarrhoea, loss of appetite)

Fear is related to the KIDNEYS (urinary disorders, sexual disorders, impotence, low back pain)

Each emotion has a specific effect on the vital energy "Qi" in Chinese term.

Joy makes Qi harmonious
Anger makes Qi rise
Grief makes Qi disperse
Contemplation makes Qi concentrate or "knot up"
Fear makes Qi sink

JOY is . . .

• warm, friendly, open and expansive
• a hearty laugh that bubbles up spontaneiously from deep inside
• enthusiasm
• free and unconditional
• free to anyone who claims it

To demonstrate how one can achieve true joy, try this exercise:

1. Write down everything that has ever made you feel happy, from the great moments in your life to the most trivial joys.
2. Cross out any item that require others to make it happen.
3. From the remaining items, select one and do it right now.
4. There you go, you are already looking happy.
5. Next, choose another item and do it each for the rest of your life.
6. When one list is completed, start another new list.

Joy should be practised until you are very good at it. It is something you do and not something that happens to you.

ANGER is destruction when left unresolved. When this happens, people are trapped into a vicious cycle of anger, rigidity and frustration. To resolve anger, the following suggestion may be useful:

1. Try some form of exercise that emphasizes flexibility such as yoga, Tai Chi or dance.
2. Regular massage is a good way to start softerning up
3. Counselling and various group self-development activities are good for dealing with stored anger.
4. Relaxation exercises, meditation and self-hypnosis can help in unwinding.
5. Talk to someone who is willing to lend a listening ear.
   

GRIEF means coming to terms with loss. It relates to functions of the lungs and the large intestine. Both these organs are about expelling what we do not need. We can breathe in fresh air only after we have empty the stale air out of our lungs. So, take deep breathes to calm yourself and expel out all the bad airs.

CONTEMPLATION is emotional and mental digestion. Digestion refers to retaining what is good for the body and getting rid of what is useless. What the body keeps becomes a part of us so we are shaped by the process of digestion/reflection. Contemplation brings us face to face as to what to keep and reflection is about what to part. When there is too much contemplation, reflection can be stuck. This can then cause a feeling like a knot in the stomach. When the inward-focusing energy prolongs, this can lead to ulcers. So reduce contemplation and spare the SPLEEN.

FEAR is winter, midnight, darness and death. It makes Qi sink which is why the frequency of urination is increased by fear. Extreme fear can also cause diarrhoea. When dealing with fear, it also enhances our ability to deal productively with anger. Fear which is not faced frequently emerges as irrational anger. If fear is the root of anger, such feeling can only be dealt with by coming to terms with the fear that generated it.


In Singapore, life can be quite stressful. Just make sure you maintain a balanced diet and be try to be have more JOY in your life to avoid all the heart problems. Avoid being angry and your liver and gall bladder will be fine. When in grief, be sure to breathe well so that the lungs are still in good shape. Contemplate not and fear not so that the spleen and kidneys can also perform properly.

The above list of symtoms is just a guide and does not imply that all health problems are caused by emotions. So parents, just take the tips lightly and for knowledge.

Be Your Kids’ Friend

The saying goes: “When a child errs, it is the parents’ fault.” As parents, we are actually responsible for our kids’ actions. To gain trust from your kids, the best way is to be their friend. And how do we do that???

Establish rapport

• Spend time communicating with them
• Spend time listening to their woes
• Share their joys
• Observe and discuss interesting topics together
• Do things together
• Bring yourself down to their level
  

It is not quantity time that children need. Quality time is important, sharing and doing things of interest together. When they are at ease with you, they will then open up and share with you happenings in school or what their friends are doing. When they need advice, offer it. More often than not, they will be thankful and heed the advice given.

Build trust

• Let them be responsible for their actions
• Avoid reprimanding them in public
• Allow privacy

When children misbehave in the public, parents can give them warning. Scolding them in public will only make them lose face and ‘hate’ their parents. Exert punishment only when you get home. That way, they will know that you care for their feelings.

Like adults, children would want some private moments at times. Respect that and leave them alone. When they feel that they want to open up, they will still come to you.

Reflect upon ourselves

• Be role models to them
• Admit mistake if we did wrong
• Ask acceptance of apology

Children always look to their parents as role models. Parents are also human and do make mistakes at times. By admitting and getting their acceptance will only earn their respect even more. So the saying goes: Learn from mistake and gain from it.

Use technology

• Make use of modern gadgets such as handphone and the internet
• Set usage limit and stick to it

In Singapore, the technology pace is growing very fast. Parents just have to also catch up with the times and learn to use these modern gadgets. I remembered I dread buying the handphone for a long time but to communicate with my kids, I just had to follow suit.

I would not say it is easy to apply the above tips all the time. However, if parents can do that, it would be good for their children in developing values such as respect, honesty, diligence and self-confidence.

Family Culture

In The Straits Times Insight yesterday, the focus was on whether there is a Singapore Culture. Teenagers who were interviewed opined that there is.

To me, before we even talked about Singapore Culture, there should first be FAMILY culture. Below are my views:

Foster respect
Children should be taught respect at a very young age. Respect refers not only to others, it is also to oneself. Parents should also show respect to their children by allowing them to have privacy.

Act together
It means doing things together. As a family, members should do things together. This will foster closer relationship between parents and children. If possible, should also include grandparents. This will then breach the generation gap.

Motivate each other
Be it good or bad times, motivation is a powerful tool to nurture potentials further. During setbacks, it is even more important to be motivated by family members. Children need constant encouragement. So do couples, when they meet crisis at work. Share with your spouse or family and get some comfort to get things moving.

Involve everyone
This refers to household chores or something the whole family may be involved. When everyone plays a fair share, there is unity. When there is unity, it means work gets done and there is satisfaction. With satisfaction, there is joy in achievement.

Live simple
Life need not be surrounded by branded stuff. Live simple and the children will appreciate the value of money. Thriftiness is a good value to inculcate in children from young. It will go a long way for them.

Yours truly
Whatever you do, do it with sincerity. It will let you have peace of mind. You will then be a happier person and be able to sleep well. With clear conscience, you will be able to focus better, be it school work for children or work for adults.

I have used the above tips for my family and they have worked fine. I am sure my children will contribute to society with positive attitude. Whether we have a Singapore culture or not, it should be a gracious society where our children can live happily.

Mid Autumn Festival

It is also known as the Moon Cake Festival. In Singapore, the varieties of moon cakes available are just numerous. They can be broken into 3 generations:

1st generation – traditional ones with sweet fillings of nuts, mashed red beans, lotus-seed paste or Chinese dates. To add flavour, salted egg yolk(s) are also found in some of them.

2nd generation – snow-skin varieties

3rd generation – different flavours such as durian, green tea, corn, rum and many more.

While we enjoy these delicacies, we should also let the children know the myths and legends about the festival. Basically, there are 2 versions:

The Story of Chang-Er
Long ago, the earth was in a state of havoc because there were 10 suns in the sky. These were the sons of the Jade Emperor.

The suns caused rivers to dry up, lands became barren and many people died. The Jade Emperor then asked Hou Yi to persuade his sons to rise up away from the earth to end the catastrophe. Hou Yi was a great archer. When Hou Yi he failed to persuade the suns to leave the sky, he launched arrows at the suns, shooting them down one by one. Before the last sun was shot, his wife, Chang-Er pleaded with him to save it to keep the earth warm and bright.

The Jade Emperor was furious with Hou Yi for slaying his sons. Hou Yi and Chang-Er were then forced to stay on earth. To please his unhappy wife, Hou Yi took great pains to gather herbs from Royal Mother for the elixir of life. This would help them to ascend to Heaven again. However, the angry Chang-Er stole the elixir and consumed all of it. She flew up to the moon where she remained all alone in the Moon Palace.

This sad story was written 3,000 years later by the Tang poet, Li Shang-yin. There are several versions of this story but this is the more popular one.

On the 15th of the 8th lunar month every year, the moon is at its brightest and loveliest. all Chinese around the world would look at the moon and remember Chang-Er and her legend.

Moon Cakes

Moon cakes became part of the Mid-Autumn Festival during the Yuan dynasty (1280 1368 A.D.) China was ruled by the Mongolians then. Leaders from the preceding Sung dynasty (960-1280 A.D.) were unhappy at submitting to foreign rule. They set out to co-ordinate a rebellion. The leaders of the rebellion took opportunity of the Moon Festival and ordered the making of special cakes. Packed into each moon cake was a message with the outline of the attack. On the night of the Moon Festival, the rebels successfully attacked and overthrew the government. The Ming dynasty (1368-1644 A.D.) was then formed.

Today, moon cakes are eaten to commemorate this event.

To complement the occasion, lanterns are a must. The most common one are the paper folding type that requires the lighting of candles. The modern ones are battery-operated with many varieties of shapes and sizes. Some also come with music and are popular with children.

It has been a hazy day and the moon is not visible tonight. Parents, perhaps it is safer to stay indoors and just enjoy moon cakes with your family.

A CHILDREN's Day Dedication

Though my youngest girl is in her teens, I still treat all my kids as children. Today, I would like to dedicate a poem to all CHILDREN in the world.

C herish and love them always

H ug and hold them as often as you want

I nculcate in them the right traditional and cultural values

L earn and grow with them the fun way

D elight and laugh with them

R ecognise their flaws and work on improving them

E njoy each growing stage with them

N urture their strengths and develop them further

Singapore parents, take a moment and spend a nice weekend with your children.

BEAUTY of Wellness

Wellness refers to the condition of good physical and mental health, especially when maintained by proper diet, exercise, and habits.

Would like to share with Singapore parents the BEAUTY of wellness:

B ody Fit
E at Right
A lways Cheerful
U se Your Brain
T hink Postiive

Body Fit
To ensure that one's body is fit, regular exercise and have enough rest are important. They are many options to exercise:

• sign up with a fitness centre
• go to community centres and enrol activities such as dancing, badminton and others
• jogging, swimming, brisk walking or even household chores
  

Having enough rest means sleeping well and have time to relax. The following are some ways to relax:

• pamper yourself with SPA treatments
• go for a movie, read a book, meet up with friends for a chat or do something you enjoy
  
• do nothing, just lie down on bed/sofa or just meditate
  

Eat Right
This means one should have a balance intake of carbonhydrates, protein, fruits and vegetables. Where the diet is inadequate, then go for supplements. Drinking enough water is also essential to ensure that the body system is cleansed. In Singapore context, being in the tropical region, one should drink at least 2 litres of fluid each day to 'fight' the hot temperature here.

Always Cheerful
To stay cheerful, just laugh alot. Also, put on a smile when you meet people. It will brighten someone's day.

Use Your Brain
For the brain to function well, keep it active. As one ages, this is very important. When one stops thinking, the brain also gradually loses its ability. So to stay active, read a lot and do things that need analysing.

Think Postive
Besides keeping the brain active, one must also adopt a positive attitude. When everything is possible to you, then nothing is impossible.

Young at Heart
When you have a fit body, eat right, always cheerful, use your brain well and think positive, then naturally you are YOUNG at HeART. And you are young at heart, you will be happy.

That is the BEAUTY of wellness. Hope Singapore parents will find the above tips useful.

The Times of Your Life

For a life span of 80 years, do you know that a person spends:

· 25 years sleeping
· 20 years at work
· 17 years pursuing your own interest
· 6 years eating
· 5 years standing in line
· 4 years doing household chores
· 2 years trying to return phone calls
· 1 year looking for misplaced objects
· 8 months opening letters

As you can see, more than half of one’s life is a waste of time doing boring tasks. Only 17 years or 6,200 days are spent on pursuing one’s own interest. Of these, it reaches you in fragments at different stages of your life. So make good use of these times and treasure every minute of them.

For me, the greatest pleasure is learning, sharing and doing what I like.

Singapore parents out there, life is short. While bringing up your children, remember also to have time for yourself doing things you like.

"Some people are making such thorough preparation for rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine." by William Faulkner

Sibling Rivalry

This refers to competition between siblings especially for the attention, affection and approval of their parents.

For families with 2 children or more, it is an inevitable situation that parents have to deal with. A Singapore counselor advises: “Sibling rivalry is part of growing up. Be patient and let things run its course.” She has the following tips to offer:

• Avoid comparison – when praise is given to one child, remember also to encourage the other(s). Constantly comparing yours kids can result in jealousy among them.
  
  
• Avoid being the judge – where there is conflict among the children, parents should try to be impartial. Make a point to listen to their point to views. Find out why the guilty party is lying. Correct his/her behaviour by explaining the consequence of lying.
  
  
• Avoid favouritism – favouritism causes jealousy and even resentment among the children. Where possible, tell them individually how much you love them.

Below are some examples how I deal with sibling rivalry among my 4 children when they were young.

The strongest rivalry symptom was between my no. 3 and no. 4. When I was expecting my youngest daughter, my no. 3 simply did not like it. During the early stage of my pregnancy, she would insist that I carry her although she could already walk. Towards the final stage, when I step into the house after work, she would want to beat my stomach and said: “I don’t want baby.” I had to assure her that she is still my darling.

After her little sister was borne, I got her to play the big sister role. When the little one cried, I would not immediately attend to her. Instead, I would involve all my children, if they are at home and said: “Let’s see what the baby wants.” If it is feeding time, I will get them to help make the milk, get the napkin and feed her if they wanted to. During bath time, I will get them to get ready baby’s clothes, towel, powder and so forth. Sometimes, they also get to choose what their little sister should wear for the day.

For their routine activities like story-telling, playtime and others, I would continue to do with them, where time permits. The important thing is let them know that you still care and they are not being neglected.

I remembered, on one occasion, my son sheepishly stood outside the room door and was peeping at me. I called to him to come in. I looked at him and asked: “You want a hug?” He nodded his head and I opened my arms. After holding him for a while, I told him: “Any time you want a hug, just come to mummy, ok?” He gladly nodded his head again and went off to play. Being a boy, he was afraid to be laughed at if he said he wanted a hug but that assurance surely did him good. He is 19 now and would still let me hold his hand when we go out.

My eldest girl was also jealous of her siblings. When she was 8, I noted that she had been withdrawing herself. One day, I pulled her aside and we had a heart-to-heart talk. She felt that I favoured the young ones more. When I asked her in what way, she said I paid more attention to the young ones like feeding them and other baby-like activities. When I asked her if she wanted me to feed her, she laughed. I told her I catered to all their needs based on their age. I also explained to her that being the eldest, she has all the first priorities like getting all the new things. Most of the usable things will eventually be passed down to the rest. With 4 kids, I definitely have to enforce sharing to save cost.

Glad to say they have been caring and showing support for each other.

Fruit and Vegetable Juices (3)

Hi, this weekend, it's the final part 3 on fruit and vegetable juices. These juices will help treat the liver, rheumatism, thyroid and . . .

• Liver - 1) Radish + pineapple juice 2) Carrot + beetroot + cucumber juice
• Memory improvement - 1) Celery + carrot + prune juice + rice polishings
• Nervous tension - 1) Celery + carrot + prune juice 2) Lettuce + tomato juice
• Overweight/obesity - Beet greens + parsley + celery juice
• Perspiration - 1) Celery + prune juice 2) Cucumber + pineapple juice
• Rheumatism - Cucumber + endive + goat's whey
• Sore Throat - 1) Watercress + apple juice with 1/4 tsp pure cream of tartar
• Stomach Infection - Carrot + blackberry juice
• Teeth - Beet greens + parsley + celery juice + green kale
• Thyroid - Clam juice + celery juice
• Ulcers Stomach - 1) Celery 2) Spinach + grape juice
• Vitality - 1 tsp apple concentrated + 1tsp almond nut butter + 1 cup celery juice
• Weight Improvement - Coconut milk + fig juice + parsley + carrot juice
• Weight Improvement - Parsley + grape juice + pineapple juice
• Youth Retaining - 1) Cucumber + radish + pepper (1/3 cup each) 2) 2/3 cup concord grape juice + 1/3 cup pineapple juice

Hope Singapore parents will find these tips useful. Happy juice making.

Love Your Heart

Heart disease is number 2 cause of death in Singapore, after cancer. So what can we do to prevent a heart attack or stroke? Just know your heart and love your heart.

Below are some advices that experts offer:

© HEREDITARY – this is one genetic predisposition that is beyond control. Nonetheless, if any close family member has any history of cardiovascular disease or diabetics, it helps to be aware of the risk factors.

© SMOKING – this is one of the leading causes of heart disease. Solution – quit smoking. Within a yar of quitting, the risk of developing cardiovascular disease is reduced by 50%. One may consult the doctor on nicotine replacement therapies or refer to smoking cessation services.

© DIET – this has a major impact on your heart. What you eat is what you are. Choose a variety of whole grain products for consumption with combination 5 servings of fruits and vegetables. Cut down on fat intake – eat less than 2 gm of saturated oil per serving. Canola or olive oil is recommended. Also, reduce sugar and salt intake. Go for food with low calorie but with high nutrition. Reading the labels will help.

© WEIGHT – maintaining a healthy weight will help lower the risk of developing heart disease. If on medication and where in doubt, do consult the doctor before taking weight loss supplements or snack bars.

© EXERCISE – this will do wonders to the heart. Start an exercise programme such as brisk walking, swimming, line dancing, slow jogging and do it regularly. Depending on your health status and age, choose the type of exercise you are interested and comfortable with.

© CHECK-UP – this will ensure that blood pressure and cholesterol level are checked regularly. This should be done at least once a year. If the results are above the normal range, do heed doctor’s advice to modify diet and lifestyle. This will help bring the values under control. For more severe conditions, doctors may prescribe relevant medications.

© STRESS MANAGEMENT – developing healthy habits such as practicing yoga, meditation, slow breathing can help bring blood pressure levels down. Alternatively, you can also choose to do things that you enjoy, like reading a book, listening to soft music or better still, watching a comedy. Indeed, laughter is still the best medicine.

© WARNING SYMPTOMS – this can be heartburn, tightness emanating from the breastbone and into the neck, jaw and arm or shortness of breath. When one or more of the above symptoms occur, do consult the doctor and have your health checked. Prevention is always better than cure.

Hope parents will find the above tips useful and take care.

Family Gatherings

September is a joyous month for my family. There are 3 birthdays to celebrate: 13/9 - my mum and my son, 20/9 - my youngest daughter and 12/9 - my silver wedding anniversary.

As my dad passed away in May this year, we have kept a low profile for all celebrations. So, it was just a simple gathering for my mum and my family yesterday. We had buffet dinner at Riverview Hotel Garden Restaurant.

Since my dad’s demise, my mum has been in bad health. I was glad to have made her day. She was in high spirits and showed no signs of giddy spells. The ambience and food at the restaurant was to her liking.

At her age, all she wants is to be in good health so that she will not be a burden to any one of us. As long as she is happy, my siblings and I will make time for her. Gatherings like yesterday also allowed interaction between my children and her. The common lingo is Chinese.

For my wedding anniversary, my husband and I used to go for shows previously. Since his stroke 3 years ago, things have changed. His attention span is short and is unable to sit through a movie for more than 2 hours. Instead, we usually spend time together with my kids, just like yesterday.

In my 25 years of marriage, I am thankful to have a supportive husband and 4 great healthy kids. So far, all of them have done quite well in their studies and they seldom give me problems. What more can I ask?

I know life is stressful for Singapore parents. However busy you are, besides taking care of your children, do also spare some time for your own parents. Children bring joy to them. With more laughter, hopefully they will have fewer ailments, live longer and be happier.

Fruit and Vegetable Juices (2)

Hi, this weekend, it's part 2 on fruit and vegetable juices. These juices will help treat the gall bladder, heart, insomnia and . . .

Next week will be part 3. Be on the look out.

• Gall Bladder - 1) Radish + prune + black cherry + celery juice 2) Carrot + beetroot + cucumber juice 3) Prune + black cherry + celery + radish juice
• Gallstones - 1) Beetroot + radish juice 2) Green vegetable juices
• Gas - Coconut milk + carrot juice
• Glands - Celery juice 1 tsp + wheat germ + 1 tsp Nova Scotia dulse
• Goiter (enlarge thyroid gland) - Celery juice 1 tsp + wheat germ + 1 tsp Nova Scotia dulse
• Gout (disease with painful inflammation of small joint) - Celery + parsley juice
• Heart - 1) Carrot + pineapple juice with honey 2) Alfalfa 3) Parsley + alfalfa + pineapple juice
• Impotence - Celery juice 1 tsp + wheat germ + 1 tsp Nova Scotia dulse
• Indigestion - Coconut milk + fig juice + parsley + carrot juice
• Infections - Carrot + blackberry juice
• Insomnia (sleeplessness) - Lettuce + celery juice
• Jaundice (yellowness of skin) - Tomato + sauerkraut juice
• Kidneys - 1) Celery + parsley + asparagus juice 2) Carrot + parsley juice
• Kidney (bladder) problems - Celery + pomegranate juice

Some of the fruits and vegetables in above list may be difficult to find. However, in Singapore, you should be able to get them in reputable supermarkets. Hope parents will find these tips useful.

Appreciation

Last night, I attended an alumni gathering. One of the speakers gave a talk on "Appreciation". This may be a simple word but it encompasses a lot of meaning.

The speaker shared on the following tips:

• Why is there a need to appreciate - because it increases the value of people
• What should one appreciate - people's Loyalty, Efforts and Differences
• How should one show appreciation - it needs to be Real, Recognizable (to the recipient) and Regular
• Who do you need to be thankful to - for you to decide
• Who do you need to be thankful for - for you to consider

After the talk, it got me thinking. More often than not, we take things and people around us for granted. Do you remember when was the last time you say "thank you" to someone? Well, I am proud to say I still constantly do that. Also, I give a smile whenever I can as I know it will brighten some one's day.

I am thankful to:

• my husband to who has been ironing my clothes
• my children who have been helping out in household chores
• family members who give support when I needed them
• a bunch of good friends who have been sharing my joy and woes

I also want to be thankful for:

• being healthy and able to do a lot of things
• having a patient husband who tolerates 'nagging' and quick temper
• having 4 great healthy children and in supporting my further studies and other activities
• having family and friend support in times of crisis

What about you? For those who are always in a hurry, do spare some moments to smile. Also, remember to thank your spouse, children, family and friends, who are always there for you, SINCERELY and REGULARLY.

Beautiful Symmetry

Yesterday, a Singapore friend sent me the following symmetry. I find it very interesting. Parents, do share it with your children.

1 x 8 + 1 = 9

12 x 8 + 2 = 98

123 x 8 + 3 = 987

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11

12 x 9 + 3 = 111

123 x 9 + 4 = 1111

1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111

12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111

123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111

1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111

12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

123456789 x 9 +10 = 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88

98 x 9 + 6 = 888

987 x 9 + 5 = 8888

9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888

98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888

987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888

9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888

98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

1 x 1 = 1

11 x 11 = 121

111 x 111 = 12321

1111 x 1111 = 1234321

11111 x 11111 = 123454321

111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Learning At Home

In today’s forum, 2 writers wrote on the following topics:

“Teach children to learn without being taught”
“Nurturing a child’s potential the way to go”

Both writers made reference to PM Lee Hsien Loong’s Teachers’ Day Rally speech.

While schools play a vital role in nurturing our children’s future, parents should also play their part to help their children in self-learning. Below are some ways on how to train your children to be more independent.

Get them to:

• bath themselves when they can stand reasonably firm (just keep a close watch, ensure the windows are close and tower is ready when they are done)
• feed themselves as early as a few months old when they can hold a spoon (make feeding time a joy)
• dress themselves (allow them to choose their own clothes if they so want to)
• make their own beds every morning (it’s a good habit to inculcate)
• take their bowls/plates/forks/spoons to the sink after meals (even if there is a maid)
• run errands such as buying stationeries and groceries at a young age (they can even tell you what is a good bargain)
• do simple chores such as washing dishes, sweeping/mopping the floor, folding clothes (useful on maid’s off day)
• prepare simple meals like cooking rice/soup, frying egg/vegetables and making stews (you will be surprised they can do a better job then you do)
• budget their expenses from their pocket money
• save when they work during vacations

In Singapore, it is tough to rear four children. I have used the above methods and they have worked well for me. Hope other parents will also find these tips useful.

Fruit and Vegetable Juices (1)

Hi, it's another weekend. Today, I am going to share with you fruit and vegetable juices for special conditions such as anemia, blood pressure, colds, . . .

As the list is rather long, will be breaking it up into 3 parts. Be on the look out.

• Anemia - 1) Blackberry + parsley juice 2) Parsley + grape juice
• Arthritis - Celery + parsley juice
• Asthma - 1) Celery + papaya juice 2) Celery + endive + carrot juice
• Bedwetting - Celery + parsley juice
• Bladder Ailments - Celery + pomegranate juice
• Blood pressure (high) - 1) Carrot + parsley + celery juice 2) Lime juice _ whey powder 3) Grape juice 4) Carrot juice
• Blood pressure (low) - 1) Parsley juice 2) Capsicum + garlic juice
• Blood Purifier - Blackberry juice + black cherry juice + parsley juice + dandelion juice + tomato juice
• Colds - Watercress + apple juice with 1/4 teaspoon pure cream of tartar
• Colitis - Coconut + Carrot juice
• Complexion (yellow) - Grapefruit juice
• Complexion problems - 1 tablespoon apple concentrated juice + 1/2 glass cucumber juice + 1/2 glass water
• Constipation - Celery + spinach + grapefruit
• Diarrhea - Carrot + Blackberry juice
• Fever - Celery + parsley juice

In Singapore, one should be able to get all the fruits and vegetables list above in supermarkets. Hope these tips can help parents improve some of the conditions that they or their family maybe facing.

Child Rearing

In today’s Forum, on BRINGING UP CHILDREN, a father wrote: ‘Father closeness’ keeps adolescents out of vice.

He related that studies in the US and Europe have shown that children and adolescents who grow up in intact families are generally less likely to smoke or drink, try illegal drugs or engage in premarital sex than those who are from broken families.

In the past, a father’s role was the most basic unit of society. He was respected as the head of the household. His role was to work and partnership with his wife to raise children, inculcating the right values to them. He reminisced how his father would bring him and his siblings for weekend swims.

In present Singapore, both parents work and during weekends, it is the maids who are with the children at swimming pools. Many fathers are always busy working, going home late and seldom have time for their children. During weekends, they are at golf courses perfecting their swings to impress their bosses and clients. He urged parents to wake up to their responsibility and start taking action to strengthen their relationship with their children. He concluded by saying: “Let’s not see a generation go to waste because of our neglect.”

While I do agree with this concerned dad, I would like to add that I know of many fathers who do not play golf. Though they may have tight schedules, they still share the burden of upbringing their children with their wives.

Below are some tips on how parents can share their load in child rearing.

· Agree on the tasks that each parent will do
· Allocate time to be with the children – quality time matters
· Allow some private time for each other, i.e. away from the children
· Allow children to have their say at times
· Always keep promises made
· Assign relevant household chores to children, depending on their age
· Avoid arguments in front of the children
· Avoid taking sides when one parent is disciplining the children

Parents are role models to their children. How they behave, relate to each other and treat their own parents have great impact on a child’s development. A healthy lifestyle and good home environment will definitely go a long way.

Tribute to Teachers

In Singapore, children spent quite a fair bit of time in schools, from nursery to university. Hence, parents will agree with me that teachers play an important part in their lives.

As today is Teachers' Day, I would like to dedicate a poem in appreciation of their role in nurturing our children.

T houghtful beings with

E xperience to share

A ble to relate

C aring nature shows

H elpful as can be

E ncourage hope

R eliable always and

S uperb mentors

Tell Me Again

The following story is a touching one which I want to share with parents, be it Singapore or elsewhere . . .

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?" The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, what is this?" At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A while later, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?" This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later, the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated but I rather felt affection for my innocent child". While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So. . . If your parents attain old age, please do not repulse them or look at them as a burden but speak to them kindly. Be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.

From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".

Nothing in this world is IMPOSSIBLE because the word IMPOSSIBLE itself says

I M POSSIBLE . . .