Parenting Tips

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Advice for Teenagers

In his National Day Rally speech, our Prime Minister Lee has again urged Singapore parents to have more children.

While children can be a blessing, it is tough for parents to deal with them at times, especially teenagers. They are at an age where they want to be treated like adults. Below are some tips for them to get along with their parents.

10 ways to get along with parents

  1. Treat them as you want them to treat you
    Even though it sounds pretty basic, if teenagers want to be treated with respect and fairness, then you have to treat your parents the same way.

  2. Remember, parents are people too
    They want to do their best, especially in raising their children but they:

     are also human
     make mistakes
     lose their temper
     say things they do not necessarily mean

  3. Handle the ordinary and the special will take care of itself
    If you handle your normal curfews, chores and school responsibilities, when something special comes up, you have a better chance to have the rules relaxed.

  4. It’s all right to call time-out during family arguments
    If you or your parents get really emotional during arguments, that is when we say things we do not really mean. Call for time-out. Come back to the issue again when everyone has cooled down.

  5. At least once a day, talk to your parents
    Communication begins with a willingness to just talk. Parents get nervous when they feel out of touch with their children. So each day, just talk to them about things going on at school or with your friends or other activities.

  6. Plan escape routes
    Everyone gets into difficult situations, whether on a date, at a party or just out with friends. So think about your opinion, in case something happens. It is a sign or responsibility that you can handle yourself.

  7. Agree on the basics
    Talk with your parents about curfews, school, expectations, household chores and other issues, rather than relying on mind-reading. Perhaps, you can re-negotiate the basics on your birthday, so as you get older, you gain more rights and responsibilities.

  8. Tell your parents that they are doing a good job
    Parents get very little training on how to be good parents. It is more like trial and error. You will really surprise them by telling them they are doing OK.

  9. Try to become friends with your parents
    As strange as it sounds, when you get older, you will be friends with your parents. So begin being friendly, talking with them and sharing some time together.

  10. Learn how to say “I am sorry”
    It is a sign of maturity to admit when we are wrong about something or at fault. Also, you have a better chance of convincing your parents when you are right.


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